Overcoming Fear: Slay Your Dragon

overcoming fearI thought I would use this blog to share with you some of the topics that my clients are working on each week. I will of course protect their anonymity but they have given their permission to have the topic/challenge they are facing brought to a broader forum. At the risk of sounding like Letterman, “The number one, and most redundant topic faced by my clients this week is…..”–FEAR!

 

Fear of Failure–”What if my business flops? What if I get fired? What if I can’t do it? What if I go into deeper debt?… What if I really am not as good at this as I think I am?… What if I’m too old, too young, too late?.. What if I make a complete fool out of myself?…What if I lose everything?… What if I’m a colossal disappointment? What if this is all there is?…. What if I can’t make money doing what I love and live for?” Exhausting, isn’t it? Can you hear yourself in any of these questions? I know I can! Usually, right around here is some form of gargantuan exhale after the tiny, spasmodic inhales of the last few minutes during the self-fear mongering and the opening of the Dragon Assembly Kit.

“How to make a dragon”–envision your dreams
“How to make the dragon bigger”–GO FOR YOUR DREAM!

 

There is nothing that will rile up the dragon faster than pursuing your dreams and pushing your limits! And so many of us stop short in our tracks the second the monster appears, telling ourselves “I must be doing something wrong because I have woken up the dragon!” It’s the exact opposite; if the dragon is cranky–you are on to something! The dragon can only survive if you stay small and your fear stays HUGE–that’s how this dream-crushing, joy-stifling, finance-sucking, vision-stealing jerk is fed. He’s flailing around to scare you small–don’t fall for this trick.

So here are some tips to OVERCOME your Fear Factor:

  • Face it. Look it dead in the eye. Name it. Call it OUT into the street and really study this thing so you know how to identify it from a mile away. Dig deep and make sure you are at the root source of it.
  • Once you can name it and can recognize it with greater ease– CLAIM IT! Take a deep breath, look it in the eye and say, “I’m cutting off your food supply!”
  • Now that you have effectively scared the little bastard a bit, almost turn your back to it. You see, making a plan to disengage it gives the fear-dragon instant castration! And you know that’s a lot of fun to do to your nemesis! Start listing ten things on paper that you would do IF what you fear actually occurred. You are going to be wildly surprised to find you have all you need in your arsenal.
  • Share this with someone you know is on your team. I encourage my coaching clients to put together a “Board of Directors”–people you surround yourselves with that are experts in their assorted fields and who are FULL supporters of your visions. Share this with a trusted member of your board so they can commit to being of loving service to you should it ever really hit the fan. You will know in advance you will NOT be alone!
  • Put the aforementioned piece of paper in a location you will remember, but not one you have to visit every day, week or even month. Cruise ships don’t suggest you go to dinner in their dining rooms in life jackets! Don’t dwell on disaster! You now have your “Dragon Slaying Kit” and if you need it, which I’m betting you will NOT, it is there!! Living and leading from the perspective of disaster is paralyzing. If you need lifeboats, you’ve got them!

If you ever need help finding your shield, I’m an email, phone call, tweet, post, smoke signal away.

SLAY YOUR DRAGONS!!!